iPods fuel Guinness decline
Irish drink less Black Stuff shock

THE IRISH ARE drinking less Guinness - official. Figures just released by Diageo - the company which owns Ireland's national tipple - show that sales slumped by six per cent.

The reason? Paul Walsh, Diageo's CEO, revealed that the typical 21 to 25 year old is failing to follow his father's footsteps down to the pub. Instead, "They're often putting their money into electronic stuff such as iPODs," Walsh told the FT.

The more cynical amongst us suspect that's only half the truth. The health Nazis have scored a major victory as the ban on smoking in pubs - recently enforced in Eire - is beginning to hit home.

The INQ hears rumours that Ireland might be surpassed as the biggest consumer of Guinness. Anecdotal evidence suggests a Guinness plant in Lagos, Nigeria is going great guns and is already the second largest Guinness brewer. Worse still, African Guinness is sweeter than normal. A sort of New Guinness to Ireland's classic Guinness.

Whilst we're on the subject of sacrilege, the INQ has toured Dublin's Guinness brewery and was told categorically that Guinness isn't made from Liffe water and never was. Worse still, it was first brewed in Park Royal, London.

Whatever next? Guinness served in two litre glasses? µ